Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Blogging again! Also, Mickey Avalon might be a bigger fan of ladies' behinds than Sir Mix-A-Lot.

Okay. So. It’s about time we start updating this blog again. Allow me to explain and apologize: when I have nothing to procrastinate, I can’t do anything. Thus, I spent all Winter Break sleeping. But, now that I have work I should be doing, I need procrastination fodder. And that’s where this blog comes in! Readers, you can be sure that we’ll start updating now that we have things that we should be doing. And I even have something that I’d like to write about.

Mickey Avalon’s new music video.

It came out in December, but being a slacker, I didn’t find it until a couple of days ago. As you can see, this blog isn’t particularly concerned with timeliness, so I’ll be writing about it like it just came out yesterday. Also, there's some vulgarity present. Just so you know.

Many of you are familiar with Mr. Avalon, even though you might not know it. If we’re friends, I’ve probably forced his delightfulness upon you, and if we’re not, you might’ve heard his most popular song, “My Dick,” on Youtube or in Harold and Kumar 2: Escape from Guantanamo Bay, which might be the most ridiculous movie that ever existed. In any case, he possesses an interesting and unique take on hip-hop/rap: he glams it up and defies gender roles, subverting the traditional heterosexual emphasis found in most entries in the genre. His new song, “Fuckin’ Em All,” continues in this vein. I found it on his myspace page, but you can check out the whole thing on Youtube in all its glory (embedded here):

It starts with a scene from the movie Colors, or so Jim tells me, where two policemen discuss what must be a famous proverb or something. You can judge for yourself. The first note of the song coincides with a shot of Mr. Avalon’s lower abs in all of their tattooed glory, and the classiness quickly deteriorates. Let me give you a sample of his lyrical genius:

“Riddle me this, little bitches:
The Av’s on the market for a mistress.
And I could give a shit ‘bout the riches,
As long as she suck dick and do dishes.”

Well… on one hand, he’s not a gold digger. Maybe I’ll leave it at that. Though there’s no semblance of legitimacy to this new song, it’s still enjoyable: random deep-voiced “Ohhh”s and girly laughs peppered throughout the song add a giggle-factor, and there’s a pretty kickass guitar solo at the end of the song. Also, it has a lot of danceability. All in all, though Mickey Avalon objectifies women for their behinds, and apparently has the ability to have intercourse with multiple ladies at the exact same time, it’s undeniable that he has lyrical and rhythmic talent, and his persona is incredibly unique. I, for one, am looking forward to his new album, which, as far as I can tell, has no set release date as of now.

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